Conclusion of Keke’s Vacation Up North
Lesson 79: A well-timed messin’ will teach them a lesson
[In Part 1 of Keke’s Vacation Up North, Keke and her family drove all day to reach Lake Hickory, where they spent two nights at a cabin on a quiet lagoon. In Part 2, at their next stop, Keke explored the outer limits of human patience and the vacation hall pass. And in Part 3, she established the importance of canine companionship on vacation to protect those oblivious humans from falling into sinister traps. Now she presents the conclusion of her vacation saga...]
After bidding a not-so-fond farewell to the noisy apartment with alternate universes, we headed for the next stopover on our journey. It was another all-day drive, which I endured with my usual calm demeanor and forgiving, resilient attitude.
Hey, keep your comments to yourself! This is my story, and I’ll tell it how I want!
After hundreds of hours of driving, we arrived at our next destination. It was a lakeside house where we would be honored guests. This time, a proper welcoming committee greeted us upon arrival, including a friendly Beagle-mix named Chester, two wide-eyed cats who observed from a respectful distance, and a couple of high-ranking nobles sent to greet her ladyship. Unlike our prior stops, the humans understood the nuances of welcoming visiting dignitaries and influential canines. They genuflected and recognized my royal cuteness.
The back porch featured live entertainment, including two small ponds with trickling waterfalls and live goldfish the size of my head. I thought the goldfish would make fun playmates, but Daddy refused to retrieve them. Sometimes, humans can be so boring.
The following day, it was dé·jà vu as Mommy dressed me in my lifejacket. Daddy pulled two kayaks to the murky water’s edge.
Oh, great. Another outdoor torture lesson and a chance to “build character.” What will they think of next?
Mommy and I floated on our kayak like a turtle on a sea of turbocharged bunnies, waving to frolicsome children as they screamed and bounced on inflated rafts dragged behind zippy speedboats.
Hey, would it be too much to ask that we enjoy ourselves a little while building character?
Unfortunately, Daddy’s idea of a good time was dunking me in the water and watching me maneuver between jellyfish and sharks to become the next girl in history to swim the English Channel. He wanted to know if I was having “fun” yet.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
After twenty hours lost and adrift, we returned to the safety of land, parched and emaciated, ribs extended.
That night, I suffered from the “runnies” and was up several times dirtying pee pads and blankets. It was quite the mess.
In the morning, we packed the car and set out for the final journey home. Mommy and Daddy took turns sitting next to me in the back seat so they could watch me closely in case of another emergency.
When we arrived home, they fed me roast chicken and rice to calm my stomach. I was feeling fine by then, but I didn’t let on. Sometimes, it’s better to extend the pity party to ensure they learned their lesson.
That’ll teach them to throw me in the lake!